Thanks nicole So much for putting distance between me and H. H called me- his number didn't come up on caller id so I answered it. We spoke for a couple of hours.
We spoke honestly and openly about what has been going on..with neither one of us getting upset or angry. We both voiced our concerns about making a go of our marriage..that we are scared that there is too much damage done already and we won't be able to move past all of this. We both agreed that it was worth it to both of us to give this a shot and try to make something better of all of this. We both agreed that it is hard to walk away from our marriage when prior to his A..we had a good marriage.
We spoke about his mood issues. He told me about how unhappy he is with his life- job, career, weight, his injured legs. He doesn't believe that D is going to make him any happier. He just needs to figure out ways to make himself happy...and this is where he is having a problem. He told me that he would just like to move away to get away from the mess he has made of his life...and mess up anybody elses lives.
So this week was truly a rollercoaster...divorce pending..working it out..want a divorce..want to work it out. Sorry to take everyone along on my ride. I clearly have no idea what I am doing or what i want. I would need to see some consistent behavior from my H..and some stable emotions from myself. I really don't have a clue right now.
Can people actually reconnect after something like this? Obviously, with the A, our physical separation, poor communication, fights, no intimacy...we do not share a connection or closeness right now. Is this normal? or does it just mean that it is over? If we aren't experiencing those feelings now..will they never return? When people fall out of love..can they fall back in love? He asked me to go to dinner at his mother's tomorrow night.
