Db not working, MLC spouse pushing D

[kjensen]

FHS-
I think the MLCers frequently see a divorce as the ticket to peace and happiness. It is a huge trigger of fear and sadness for us LBSers...The best thing I can offer is to educate yourself, privately, on how a divorce works where you live.

Don't bring up the topic of divorce with your H. Know that he most likely WILL bring it up again, maybe when you are getting along great... Enjoy the good times you are having, but keep your expectations low.

Seeing that our marriage was such a mistake and now he's found his true soulmate (or so he thinks). However, no mention to anyone at work, or his family, or family lawyer or accountant. I guess I also hoped that he didn't because he was actually ashamed of what he was doing.

This was exactly the situation I was in a year ago...My H was ashamed... When my Hasked for a divorce last May..the OW dumped him and H started opening up to me...But this time in 12/09 when he asked and filed for a divorce there was no OW(or shame) and H did share the divorce with everyone..

Realize that if your H wants a divorce, he may just get one whether you want one or not(again this varies per state so getting info for YOURSELF is very important). As much as all of us never want to be divorced(why we are on a site called divorce-busting!), it can still happen, and it won't be the end of your world..maybe just the end of your marriage as it was.

I have found that getting in touch with my fears that were triggered by my husband divorcing me has been a good thing, a strenghtening experience, although hard and at times painful...

So embrace and learn from the fear. Divorce may not happen(we pray!), but by not letting the word or thought or action of divorce freak you out, you will find more peace.