My advice is usually to do what you can to change the person you are without bothering her directly.
You can buy flowers for the house, you can invite friends for dinner and cook for them, you can buy people gifts, you can call family up and have a warm conversation asking how they are and offering to help etc.
All of these things don't bother your WIFE at ALL, but at the same time she will get to observe safely from a distance that you are a different man than you haev been before.
