Feeling happy about the first day of spring . I am like a child when it comes to feeling excited about all the special calendar days . As a nature lover, the spring equinox today (tonight at midnight-ish) is very meaningful to me. Today is half light, half dark: life is in perfect balance. Life is stirring in the black soil that seeemed so barren. Flowers are bursting open and the sun is shining. Optimism is on the menu.
You've mentioned struggling with immediate benefits of meditation, etc. What you so beautifully and vibrantly posted above tells me that you should just spend more time outdoors, period...even doing "nothing." Sobbing or not , get your butt outside in this beautiful world more and just soak it up, take it in. Clearly, you derive true, deep visceral joy from it (I can relate )
Originally Posted By: flowmom
1. I am deeply saddened by the pain this seems to be causing my children in the present.
2. I adore my H and I want to touch him, be close to him, and talk with him...it hurts not to have that.
3. All my dreams for the future revolved around our life as a whole, intact family...I'm mourning the loss of those dreams.
4. I'm scared of the future (multi-part fears).
5. The rejection that I'm experiencing is triggering deep-seated feelings of unworthiness, unloveability, insecurity. I am having to process the consequences of having been emotionally neglected as a child. Again.
Why you just described a...a normal - though pained - human being! Hooray for flowmom!
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
. I am like a child when it comes to feeling excited about all the special calendar days 
. As a nature lover, the spring equinox today (tonight at midnight-ish) is very meaningful to me. Today is half light, half dark: life is in perfect balance. Life is stirring in the black soil that seeemed so barren. Flowers are bursting open and the sun is shining. Optimism is on the menu.
) 
