flowmom | need to commit to myself

[Gardener]

fm,

Reading what I've just written, maybe I'm more depressed than I realize

My own personal experience with depression, included feeling like I was being swallowed up by a slooow black glacier and that I was losing my mind. Personally, my depression consisted of being obsessively, paralyzingly sad and terrified of just two things:
1) Absolutely nothing.
2) Absolutely everything.

I still find myself sobbing, weeping, welling up a couple of times a day. But since i know why I feel that way, I, personally don't consider that part of - or a return of - the depression. I view it as normal. Normal sadness. Normal grief. And one can't cure "normal." It may well be that I'm still stuck too long in one of Susan Anderson's Stages, but I don't beat myself up over it. I cry. For a reason. I hurt. Still.

Cut yourself some slack. You are in anguish. You find yourself suddenly sobbing, weeping, "losing it."
This is you feeling your pain, expressing your pain, purging your pain your way.

imho.