MWD says in DR that for every year you have been together you will have to DB ROUGHLY for ONE MONTH.
So, For ten months ROUGHLY you are going to get distance and cynicism from her most of the time. You will get the odd crumb, but you need to be patient.
Ten years is a long time to wrestle with you to get the improvements you have been making now.
I KNOW I KNOW. Your wife made mistakes too. Most couples thrash about for 4 to 10 years until a crisis happens and then they either divorce or they find a way to make things better.
It took both of you ten years to get where you are now... Undoing all that damage is going to take a lot of time and a lot of work. Running away from it is NOT going to make life any easier for you. Running away is how you two got where you are... instead of working on your challenges for the last ten years you two have been hiding from each other ... most couples do that.
And yes, I am sure there have been good times, but your wife's state of mind is not focussed on these.
MWD again points out that when you are feeling sad, the bad parts of your marriage get LOUDER and EASIER to remember and the warmer parts are just a whisper and are nearly forgotten.
Her MOOD towoards you needs to change before she will remember better times and start to feel better. You need to get her to warm up to you.. and you can only do that by making yourself a warmer person to be around.
If shes had to wrestle for ten years to get you being the guy you are trying to be now, you can't ask for that overnight... She's got a lot of doubts.
