How do I expose the affair

[saffie]

Its shocking how much damage divorce can do to a child, I hadn't been aware how much research was available until I started reading this afternoon.. there's miles of it.

I am really interested in this Allen. I have never read much about this apart from 'pop' articles, all of which seem to focus heavily on the negatives on children to do with D.....and some saying that it was even harder when the children were older- late teens and beyond. Luckily I didn't have to look into it re my own children.

From personal experience, I can only say I welcomed my parents separation.( Strangely they have never gotten D'd and now live across the road from one another after many years of living about 45 mins away from each other). I welcomed the lack of continual hostility and the permanent dread of when the next row would ensue. There was no infidelity involved in my parents split, ( my father's alcoholism and verbal and sometimes physical abuse was the problem). I remember vividly sitting in my bedroom singing with my sister to drown out the noise of what was going on below us. The separation was the best thing that could have happened. Caused my father to sober up too. It was the day after my 8th Birthday that my mother walked out taking myself and my 11 year old sister.

Does any of your reading say anything at all about there being any positives to D for the children? I am really interested.

Although I fought hard for my M, as has my H now, we both agreed it had to be because we wanted to be with each other and not 'just for the sake of the children'.

Sorry. I haven't been readn=ing this thread and so am probabalt butting in and going off subject horribly.....but as you mentioned it, I was just wondering about it.