NOW you are thinking. These are all good questions. You are already getting good focus...
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1. What about the joint account. I can get my paycheck changed as of tomorrow so it wont go through the joint one account.
Great idea. Change it right away and do NOT tell your wife. Just do it.
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2. The phone bill is on my name on the old place. Should I cancel that and let them cut her internet?
Now you are thinking... Of COURSE you should cut it off if you are paying for it (you are paying for her affair) Cut it off. Don't say a word... Maybe the OM will pay for her internet and phone huh?
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Again, my worry with those actions is not that my wife gets upset but that she'll notice that I'm weird and suspect that I know about the affair. She knows I know her email's password.
She very well may suspect you know. She won't tell you about it though if you don't ask. That leaves her with quite a problem then doesn't it?
You don't know this yet, but when you do these things you will actually be starting the process of her RESPECTING you again. You have been groveling and being weak by thinking that if you tried harder and was more this or more that, that she would want to stay with you. I told you that you had the wrong diagnosis. That was NEVER going to work because it wasn't about you. It was about the AFFAIR. You were in a gunfight without a loaded gun. Not good.
