I can't believe he's making an argument after what you went through.. this is really shocking...
Have you or someone made it clear to him what you went through has NOTHING to do with you being married and has a LOT to do with what HE is DOING OUTSIDE the home?
I think he may think he is doing YOU a FAVOUR by pushing for divorce now... I think he thinks he's helping you get BETTER by divorcing.
Oh, you may want to get someone to give him some statisitics showing the damage divorce does to children.. maybe he might look at THAT.
I honeslty think he has it in his mind that eveerythign well be better for you, him, and your children post divorce... someone needs to educate this guy befroe he puts a pen in his hand.
You need to tell him that your family therapist and your doctors are telling you different...
He is MIND READING. He is also not a qualified FT or psychologist so where is he getting this stuff?
I know you don't want to get into an argument but he really shouldn't be steamrolling his entire family into divorce without their commitment to it or their consent.
I am wondering if you can get your doctor to explain to him that pressuring you and your kids through a divorce right now is NOT healthy for your recovery.
He needs to hear that... and if he can back off, then you have time to educate him about the damage divorce does to kids and adults both.
He needs time to educate himself... but he wants to learn the hard way right now, someone needs to tell him to SLOW DOWN and that racing at high speed to divorce is not healthy.
"If this is how you intend on us making parenting decisions for these children you are mistaken. I am NOT going to just sit here and watch you push our children OR ME into something because YOU WANT it. Marriage OR divorce should be a FAMILY decision.. so sit down and start showing me you can be a half decent father to these kids. Is that what you are going to do later on too? Force them into everything because YOU want it even if they don't?"
I just grabbed one at random, there's tons of articles out there warning parents to ensure divorce is the last option you explore because of the harm it brings to children.
He isn't even READING this stuff before the lawyer gives him paperwork? What kind of lawyer IS this?
Well, I would see if you can get him to go to the hospital with you and have a professional in a white coat tell him to start educating himself and stop forcing divorce on you and your children... I think he would think twice if a professional in a white jacket told him to back off ...
Parent News: What are some of the outcomes for children who experience divorce?
Robert Hughes: It is important to note that while divorce increases children's risk for a variety of problems, not all children who experience divorce have problems. Children of divorce are twice as likely as children living in nondivorced families to experience difficulties. Roughly 20% to 25% of these children will have problems. Another way of saying this is that 75% to 80% will not experience these difficulties. In other words, while children of divorce are at greater risk, most will not have major problems.
This is the thing, you don't need to argue with WS, if someone can persuade him to READ materials that's going to help.
I dunno mb. I have been scanning this stuff and pushing for divorce when there are children involved is NOT a good idea... this is downright wreckless.
He has NO IDEA if divorce will be better for you... I would call him on that right away.. I wouldn't even talk to him about it without your friend there to challenge his BS... this is borderline bullying.
Ya, i would just tell him outright NO DIVORCE right now
You could tell him if he even LOOKS at a divorce paper right now and puts your children at risk he's going to regret it... I really think you should have a friend there or something to temper his bullying you into divorce like this.
This isnt' just about how HE feels, its about those children too and he's not putting any thought into that.. and someone has to.
