IRMAC

Thanks for your thoughts. and nice to meet/see you. I always appreciate people giving me their thoughts.

well....you are certainly in the minority here. but I have actually met and been with the OM at his house with wife-- we watched the SEC championship together. at that time she was trying to convince me they were just friends. all I know is there was a crazy barrage of texts for months and months. she still insists there is nothing there. maybe there isn't now. I don't know. but I am mentally preparing myself for that. I am accepting the fact that I am going there to be a dad.

I have spent the last 8 months away from my boys. it is killing me. so at the very least, I will be able to be with them now-- much more than before.

I think of reconciliation as a shot in the dark. I"m not moving there for that. of course if it happens I will be ecstatic.

though yesterday my wife said, "don't worry, it will all work out the way you want it to in the end... I mean we aren't going to get divorced, right?"... this came in a conversation that I brought up basically saying that I was kindof tired of limbo land. yes I know. bad bad. well its just every day the pleasantries... the nice talks... and no progress it feels. its frustrating. but as people have pointed out here patience is the key.

will I be able to handle her with him if they end up together forever... I don't know. won't know till I get there. but the alternative which is ditching my boys certainly is not an acceptable solution. thus yes.. I am trying to prepare myself for "uncomfortable situations".

interesting thing about the missing. it works when I'm not there for the weekend... my wife certainly misses me... has time to think. time to feel what its going to be like without me... soccer practice today-- without me. she's been calling, texting... saying that she was thinking of me. Its nice. but is it real (or memorex)?

of course she has never actually felt what its like for me to be there like a "normal dad" since I was in my training up until a year ago. this is not good for me...