Please, for you sake, stop the texting and conversations with him about anything near R issues. He is winning every time and it only makes you feel worse. If it were not for the R.O. in place between me and W, I would be doing the same thing you are doing, with the same lack of success. I don't if the WAS intentionally wants to inflict pain, but most of what they say relating the M is negative and painful. You must detach from this pain interactions.
There is nothing you can say that will have any impact on him right now. So don't waste your time. Turn things over to L, tell him/her you do not want divorce, so proceed as slow as possible. Secondly, why not allow MIL to be point of contact between you two, so that you can shut down ALL communication with him, until you are strong enough to deal with it. Right now you are not prepared to engage him in any conversations.
This will not be easy because you love your H so much and the spirit of rejection is motivating you to try and fix this yourself. LET GO Lea, hold onto just a little love for your H for when things turn around, but not too much that will drive you crazy.I continue to beleive that if you detach and mean it, this will start to turn around.
