We tried a mediator do to the whole thing, but W was still unsure of whether to return to the marriage so we did not follow through with financial homework that the mediator needed. After she stalled long enough trying to figure things out, I just let my L follow through. And I probably came out better with going the L route as the mediator was having us come up with our budgets so as to determine how much spousal support my W was to get. My L had us buy her out on spousal support determined through negotiation (I get child deductions) as part of the division of assets and I was able to refinance the house to pay it all off.
There is no set method on the financials and it should be looked at like a business deal with some offers back and forth.
The mediator is a good first try to explain to both of you what could realistically happen if 2 L's haggling back and forth dont agree to parenting time and/or financial.
Your W is totally wrong to base custody on money. It is a selfish way and uses the kids as pawns. An ethical lawyer will not try for more parenting time with just the idea of getting more support money. My L said he had turned clients away that tried to get more time out of greed. Custody should be decided first before the financials are dealt with. And the decision should be on what is best for the kids. Joint physical custody is the best as they still get equal time with a mom and a dad which have different ways of parenting.
