flowmom | need to commit to myself

[flowmom]

Somewhere in your brain, maybe a part that's a little dormant and needs a kickstart, you are collecting these activity experiences and it's building postive stuff, I'm sure of it.

Oh, I'm sure that's true. But it's a painful process.

My other belief - from personal experience and doing a lot of thinking about it- is that when you do *anything* distracting that gives your brain a break from its depressing or anxious thoughts and worries, that that time provides a little bit of healing. It doesn't matter if you feel bad again right when you stop- if you can do something to distract- better yet, temporarily lose yourself like in a good book or movie, I have always felt like it heals you a tiny bit - gives your brain the rest it needs to keep going and get stronger.

I think that's true, but unfortunately I haven't found that activities DO distract me. Still can't turn the brain and the raw emotions off. I've found myself sobbing during runs, sobbing during yoga, sobbing during shopping trips. Movies do distract me and I've found that helpful...but that's not really GAL.

Reading what I've just written, maybe I'm more depressed than I realize