H4L- well, I can't reall ALL the pages of your thread- there are just too many- but I have the gist of your situation. And may I say that what might seem like little changes to you seem like BIG ones to me. It sounds as if you've worked your butt off for a very long time now (it probably feels even longer to you) and while you may not be out of the woods, you are making progress. The fact that he's willing to go to therapy with you, let alone listen, is very very good. I wish mine would do the same. And personally, I think the Passover thing is significant. That's a big holiday and to host it as a family, even if it doesn't "mean" anything more than you are just having a dinner together as a family, could turn out to be a good experience just in and of itself - like you said, bonding time, etc. To me, any experience where you act and feel like a family more or less seems very important. It reminds them what it feels like and what they might lose, IMO.
Btw, I think you and I have more in common than our location- I'm picking up that you do community theatre- so do I! Of course, my H is so irritable about childcare every evenings- you know the rehearsal schedules- that I haven't done one since D was born 3 years ago. I did get a part in a cool play in Sept, but then our house burned down and I had to drop out, unfortunately. I'm missing acting, but things feel a little fragile now with H and childcare expectations (one of you, can't remember who, advised me to not expect much in that area from H, so I'm not), so it doesn't feel like the best time to do a play. Maybe in a few months- though this is one of my fears of being single too- how will I ever do a play again??? But I'm getting ahead of myself.
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
