Game Point

[tryingtilDorR]

Back on the 'dating' topic. I started to realize that my current situation with W is very similar to a what happened with a long-time GF I had before I was with my W, and am wondering if it will end up the same way as that R.

I was still in high school when I got together with GF, and our R got pretty rocky and she had some insecurity issues and the like, but I was extremely attracted to her for various reasons. We were together off and on for a few years. Most of the time I was a very confident guy and she was the one who was chasing me. I was the one who would break up with her, go out with other girls, and we would end up back together. We went through a few cycles of this.

However, at one point we broke up for a while (my choice probably) and she got serious with someone else and it drove me insane. This was after we had kind of given up on the R, but I obviously still had feelings for her. She was with a guy I thought was 'below' me and how could she want him? I pursued her at that point, begged her, and was very heartbroken. In the end, I moved on and eventually started dating my W. A funny thing happened then - GF was desperate to get back together. She told me that she was afraid that I would "never break up with her (W)". I guess she was right. We ended getting married after dating for about 5 years.

I always had lingering feelings for old GF, but they faded as W and I got more serious but it took a couple of years to totally forget about her.

My current situation is similar, even though we have been together for 25 years and have 4 kids and all. It is interesting how the same dynamics exist. After some struggles in our M that I didn't think were overly-serious, W finds someone else and it drives me crazy.

I can envision the future - she gets more serious with OM, I start 'dating' someone else, and then she decides she wants me back just like old GF did? I have pursued her and the feelings of anguish and heartbreak are just like back when I was 18 and experiencing this with GF. How could the experience bet he same all these years later? It is the same reason why W is chasing OM like she is a teenager I guess. The same laws of attraction exist.

However, the other issue is that there is so much more to lose now than when GF and I finally split up.

I just thought the parallells were interesting and am wondering if the near-future will play out like that situation did, with W running back when I got with someone she thinks is a true threat. Maybe she doesn't care, but I know GF didn't seem like she cared anymore either and I was very suprised when she came running back at the time. I wasn't interested in her any more, however, and then she followed a very self-destructive pattern in the years that followed. Will W do the same? ?????