surviving and thriving

[chatterbug]

surviving and thriving

Bomb Daze

Dusk at Dawn

So here I am. Legal note. I am in Canada and the area I am located in I am legally separated. Which under our laws allows me to live right up to common in-law. But to get married I would have to file for D or have ladybug file for D. As it costs quite a bit of money and I did not ask for it, nor am I getting married in the next little while.... I will stay like this as it is the same under the law for protection.

For those who do not know me. I am one of the betrayed. Work place affair that came on quickly due to promotions and travel to get new clients. 4 week EA and 2 week PA and then the ILYBDLY. Bomb was two days later. Add in a busted knee and some depression. Turning 39 was tough and feeling like a part time husband. Perfect storm. And what happened is in detail in the above threads.

I did a Plan A for a few weeks until I could no longer handle the cake eatting. During the cake eating days I seperated finances kicked her out of the bed and gathered intel and exposed the affair. I kept to the high road and then showed tough love. I am proud of everything I did to save my marriage. But it did not happen. Nor do I wish to get back together with ladybug. She was the love of my life for most of those years. I am not bitter nor angry. What happened happened. I lost respect for ladybug and her actions and lack of remorse or even a simple Sorry. I kept my vows and thought for my marriage right to the end. But then the great race was over.

I no longer had it in me to continue the fight. I realized that I did not hate her. And that I never want to hate her. For If I did it would make the 15 years we were together a waste. I realized that I could never trust her again. So I decided that I would not get back together ever. For if we did and it happened again. I would become bitter. So I move on. I can stand beside ladybug at a funeral and a jack n jill. Next is a wedding. And then that is that.
I worked on myself and I continue to work on myself. I am finally becoming a man at the age 39. About time. I have grown up so much emotionally over the last year and discovered an inner strength that I never knew I had. I applied DB to all my relationships and watched them strengthen. I retaught myself the ability to listen. I found my balls. And I even started to run. Legs be damned. And within 6 months of running I ran my first half marathon. Crossing that finish line I had tears in my eyes and my nephew ( on ladybugs side ) was there to great me. It was the proudest moment of my life. I then proceeded to share the moment with those I love unconditionally.

Unconditional love. I discovered that again. I thought it was taken from me. Along with my innocence. But it was not. I freely give my unconditional love to my friends and those I love. At first it was scary , but now I have over come that fear. And I am no longer afraid of the paths my life will take.

I am 39 turning 40 soon. No children. Caught the running bug and love to train. I constantly work on my friendships. I proudly busted a friends affair and was a true friend to their marriage.

I have new dreams now. New goals. A work in progress. Surrounded by people who love me I survived. Now I am at the beginning stages of thriving. Never lost hope.

Through unconditional love I have been given many gifts. Love , trust and acceptance.

Some call me the marshmallow man Which I will admit I am a big softie. And I am proud of it.


I met some people on this board who have become such good friends.

They are my Inukshuks

It has become a symbol of leadership, cooperation and the human spirit. Each stone of an inukshuk is a separate entity but was chosen for how well it fits together with other stones. The stones are secured through balance. Each one supports the one above it and is supported by the one below it. Together, the stones achieve strength through unity. This effect is applied to a philosophy for people where a group can achieve greater success with cooperation and team effort rather than individually. The inukshuk stands for the importance of friendship and reminds us of our dependence on one another.

An "inukshuk" is an Inuit word that literally translated means "stone man that points the way.

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