Its confusing as to who is the WAS and who is the LBS, but I think that being sorry involves a change in behavior. If the WAS continues with the OP, then actually, the only thing you can take away from that is that they wouldn't do it DIFFERENTLY. Meaning, that if they had it to do all over again, they would still have the A. After all, they are so "happy" and so "in love". I think that's why a sorry feels insincere. But, anyway, I do agree that the LBS has to get to forgiveness...and that it takes 2 to tango, but even though I, too, was unhappy in my marriage, I would NEVER have had an affair. A mature person, if unhappy, works on the marriage and tries to fix it first. If it doesn't work, they both move on...that's OK. But the A puts the LBS at such a disadvantage that it can't be fixed. Like DDay has experienced, when the A ends, maybe a sorry can be heartfelt and maybe even the two can move forward. Before then, the question is would the WAS do anything differently? My guess is, the answer is 'no'. So, sorry Charlie feels kind of like that...
