Her heart has already left

[AmyBel]

Puppy (and those saying similar things)
I wanted to really thank you. I am naturally fairly controlled by my fear and anxiety. Makes me conflict averse and risk averse. I've been working that. And this is a SPLENDID (sarcasm intended) opportunity to do so. But I really need the pep talks and clear feedback. So, THANKS!

I also wanted to say...
Last night was a real low point. When w came home from her IT and shared that she really didn't know if she could try to save our marriage, EVEN IF THE OW WAS OUT OF THE PICTURE as an alternative. I pretty much lost it. Frankly, it was the best thing I could do.

I essentially said: Sorry, I'm not into throwing myself against a brick wall. I'm not that stupid. Our family is worth a whole lot, but that is just stupid. So you better give me a reason to want to work on this or I'm outahere.

And she did.

The way in which I feel like it was a milestone is that it forced her to consider ME ending the relationship. Forced her to use her own brain to think of reasons to stay in this M. Forced her to speak the words. Took us out of our completely polarized position. Opened some space for maybe seeing a future together.

The norepinephrine/serotonin poisoning is an issue still, of course. And I just can't bring myself to lie. (install keylogger) So transparency is an issue.

Appreciating the baby steps.

Then today she called her father and he asked her if she had brain tumor (or something to that effect.) I feel pretty validated. And I was hoping he'd be an ally for the marriage.

It is PISSING ME OFF that so many people are "I hope you both can find a way to be happy" instead of "I hope you can save your marriage and become happy in it." Our culture is F'd up about this! Relationships matter! The individual can't truly grow and become happy without doing the hard work of relationships. Yeesh!

OK, better stop!