She is still in the house? She has not filed for D? She notices changes in you? She only backs off when you push? I think all of those answers are yes (correct me if I'm wrong). If so, things sound great! It gets a lot worse, believe me.
Take all of the advice given here---do not push (really, really, really----listen to this one), keep working on you (sounds like you are doing great with that too!). Give her the space she seems to need now and DON'T push. She is most likely at a point where she is questioning herself right now and needs to do some soul searching of her own-----but don't acknowledge that as a possibility (as in---don't tell her you think you know what she's thinking....or going through..). You might want to check out some of the MLC resources (I may be wrong, but it may be a possibility).
If you continue to make the changes in you, she will notice. If she is going through something of a life change herself it may be awhile before she is ready to recommit (maybe a LONG time). PLEASE be patient. You will read here many times-----be the "lighthouse" be that person she wants to go to when she's ready, if she's ready.
If you are serious about standing for your marriage, this is all you can do. You do not have control over anyone else but yourself---this is something you have to beat into your brain.
Be the lighthouse!
Me 45 M 25 yrs; T 31 yrs;bomb 8/15/06; moves out 7/18/08 D 18, D 14, S 12
