I will note that I can't post a lot of this up here because i made a commitment to my spouse that I would keep this to a minimum... She wants to work on getting past teh whole thing... and to her mind my writing about it on the public internet doens't help that.
She does and will talk to me about it, so I don't need to talk on here about it. If there was an affair going on with her now I wuoldn't think twice about it, but if your spouse recommits, you need to respect that to a degree.
I share what I need to to help someone else, but I do what I can do keep the info to the min.
She knows about this site and has been here.
She did visit the infidelity section early in her affair, but she was ironically blasted by someone for cheating and arguing about it and she left and never came back.
In her defence, I don't think I have ever seen an Infidelity forum visitor brave enough to post while HAVING an affair..it is always recovering WS's who have cheated or LBS' being cheated on or having been cheated on in the recent past.
So, she was qutie unique in posting. But she got blasted, so she doens't come back here.
I can certainly understand that trying to argue about infidelity on a forum full of people being cheated on is NOT going to turn out well, but I also feel sad that she was driven away when she did want help.
But right now we are recovering and I am doing what I can to respect her wanting minimal "exposure" at this point. She understands the need for it DURING the affair, but now, she wants me to keep to a min.
She is being transparent and not going on any overnight trips or anything, I have no reason to think she's cheating right now, so I am trying to give herr some respect by not saying more than I absolutely need to.
So, I can answer some of your questions, but I may decline others if that's ok.
