No longer "stuck808". Now my name is Bond. "MrBond

[MrBond]

Update:

So I went to see the new IC and basically spilled my story out again of what happened the last couple of years. My IC said my W does show signs of depression and asked what I wanted to do. I told her that I just want to improve our communications first and see what happens after that. So the next appointment we're going to go deeper into that. My hope is that she'll join me, but I don't think she's quite at that point yet. Almost but not quite.

Well last weekend we spent almost the whole time together. Saturday we helped my D work on a school project and she left that night. On Sunday we marched in a parade with my oldest D. My W was very apprehensive at first, saying that she doesn't like to be in front of a crowd as the center of attention. That's her low self-esteem talking.

I pulled her to the side and said that she is not going there by herself and that I would be there walking along side her. And that we are there for our D. But I told her that if she felt uncomfortable, I would take our Ds alone. She agreed to go and we had fun.

Afterwards, I pulled her to the side again and told her I was proud of her for overcoming her fear of being in the parade and gave her a hug.

The week was uneventful, except for a conversation we got into on Wednesday. I told her I was afraid the OM might still be doing something behind the scenes and then the conversation moved to the OM's going away party that she was planning. I asked her if she felt that it would hurt me from her doing so. She said she didn't know it would affect me. She's really disconnected to my feelings.

So I wrote her a note on Thursday detailing how I felt it was her cheating on me all over again and tried to put it in terms of "if I had done the same to her". She later called me to see how I was doing. I told her I was doing great and then ended the call early.

Today (Friday) I stopped by my Ds school and joined her and my W for breakfast. I picked up a chai latte for my W from Starbucks beforehand and gave it to her. She was very friendly as if there was nothing wrong in the world. I've got a half day furlough at work so I told her I could meet her for lunch with our youngest D and do something together. She said okay and it was as if we weren't even separated.

I do see bits of her old self coming out more and more than before. I don't know if it's because the OM is gone or that he showed what kind of an @$$ he was, but I take it as a positive.

In the note I sent on Thursday, I mentioned how I refused to "share" her emotionally or physically with another man and that she's going to have to start setting things right. It's different to what I told her before. I even sent her some links to the "Surviving Infidelity" website to explain my point.

In the past she would have insisted that we were getting a D and that she would never come home, etc. And just be angry. In the past month or so, she's been friendly and actually starting conversations. She does go into a quiet funk every now and then and she hasn't come up to hug me and sometimes seems uncomfortable looking at me in the eye (although that has improved greatly).

Are these positive signs? How much should I push it? Any input is welcome.