man oh man, tbart, I hope you realize you've hit the paydirt motherload of exceptional advice.
I hope you can read what Steady has said and it rings true with you and you follow his words.
I WILL tell you this. If my H could have detached years ago, for REAL (giving me space, but staying attached like a leech is NOT the same)... there would have been hope for us. He has not, and it has driven me away, completely. Even though you are thousands of miles away - she will be able to tell if the focus is off her...and she will be able to breathe.
This advice is vital - and it will change your life in ALL perspectives, not just with your wife.
