She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

Don't know if you read this but I think I linked it earlier:

I thought what I wrote above was flying in the face of the advice of doing 180's, but in reality it's not.

180's are doing things for yourself which you typically don't do. If we do them for the purpose of changing our sitch's they could easily backfire and put the final nail in the coffin. If that happens, how do you think you'll feel when you realize you did it to illicit a response only to get opposite what you wanted?

It's the 'if I do this, then that will happen' mentality. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I see now I put way too much energy into thinking about it. My shite often backfired...lol. Go figure.

The only 180 you need to do is this - WORK ON IMPROVING YOURSELF.

If you keep on improving yourself you'll have a natural 180. You will be constantly changing and improving and you'll be damn moving target. As you improve yourself:

You get more confident
Your communication skills go up
You learn to shut up and listen - really listen
You learn to put yourself in the other persons position so that you can really understand where they're coming from
Your self worth and self esteem goes up
You start doing things you always wanted to do but didn't
You start taking care of yourself physically
You start a new hobby
You go outside your safety zone and start doing different things (I'm gonna go jump out of a farkin airplane)
You start to embrace your life (go watch Yes Man)

( Notice the things on that list have nothing to do with your spouse or your situation. I didn't do alot of these things - so learn from my mistakes. Keep your damn eyes off your spouse and your situation...and stick them on you)

Of course this list goes on and on....you pick the things you want to work on...but don't do it based on some 'effect'.

As you do these things, your happiness will go up. If they aint happening for you, well that's the map for what you need to work on. Constant 180's, made for you without intending them to 'change' your situation. You go for the ride, if they hop on then more power to you.

If they don't, well they just missed the best train they could have taken. Don't worry though, there are other stations ahead.

Remember this - 'Control is an Illusion'

And this - I could be wrong about all of it. Use it at your own risk or throw it into the shite pile with the rest of the cr@p.