The key is for you to get out of the high school world that H is trying to put you in. Don't play the blame game or anything else. Just live your life. If he wants to join you, he will. If he doesn't you will be in a better place anyway. You talking to him is not going to make him want to change. He has to do that on his own.
This is SO TRUE.
Once you get off the rollercoaster and start acting maturely, they will test you even more, act even more immature.
So take his complaints to heart and keep trying. It may take months for him to turn around. BUt if you stop blaming and try to listen and validate and change yourself, then he will either match you or stay juvenile. But the change starts with you. Try being more emotionally communicative - in a mature way. Try reading some marital communication tips and keep trying. And don't get baited by his immaturity. Let him run his rampage while you walk away. People always told me it's like a toddler throwing a tantrum. You just walk away and ignore them until they settle down. THEN you try to communicate. If you want to be heard, start by listening.
