In discussing my H's depression, he said it is likely largely due to feeling he failed me, and true remorse. Although he struggled with depression before the A, and this was a huge contributing factor to the A happening, it is now gotten worse due to the emotional aftermath of the A. He suggested giving us both a break from this, by me stepping back from any talk of OW and the A, and not showing my hurt for awhile... I think that does make sense. We both need a break from the pain.
Plus, the financial stress is really, really bad. And that is all we can handle right now.
So, tonight is the night OW gets that frickin award. I am trying very hard not to think about it. But, here I am... barely able to keep my head above water due to fiancial stress, barely coping... and she will get praise and accolades and a fancy shmancy dinner tonight.
The injustice of it all is too much for me today.
I am not coping well today. Actually having physical symptoms from the financial stress that are concerning me a bit...well, maybe more than a bit. But I have to try to get through this and not think about her today. I have to find a way to just get through this day... then see the over-all big picture with moving forward.
