HI Aver! I was thinking of you last night as I was having a conversation with my mom... I was talking to her about feeling guilty about wanting to move on with someone else and just be done with this whole mess ... and how I was beating myself up for feeling guilty for feeling guilty!!!!
OH - and I DIDN'T grow up Catholic either - I have NO idea where this level of guilt comes from!!! Maybe we could start a support group.. Guilters Anonymous....
T
ME28,WAH30, M 5YRS, T 7YRS ,OW/ILYBNILY/SEP 9/09 Served with D papers 6/6/10 Current
I just haven't had time to read or post. Did the community theatre show, and now on to my actual work show.
I am in misery tonight. Somehow, this week, I have to:
Write to X and say: My lawyer is drawing up a quitclaim deed. We should get together to divide up the joint property.
And X and new GF were just out to visit his mom in AZ. She emailed that "they met. She (mom) is the only one "not overjoyed" about the new GF--which is a good indication of X's mom's social skills--because I read that as "everyone else in the family LOVES the new GF"
I read that particular email at work (late night rehearsal) and busted out ASAP to post here. Cried all the way home.
So now new GF has met the whole family, and apparently charmed them all.
The bitch of it is, X was always so tense and mean around his Mom. Really doesn't like her. So I would either take the jolly, let's have fun role, or say, "f*** it, if X isn't nice to her, why should I make all the effort?" and be equally grumpy as him. So here he is, acting all gay and happy, and isn't my family swell, so that she can do the same and be a much more delightful daughter/sister in law than I ever was.
I really need to know how, and why, I should get through this. The horror of buying him out of this house--which he loved so much, and put so much into--I am mostly doing it because he caved so quickly and to prevent the heartache of her moving in. The horror and heartache of trying to sit down and divide stuff.
All my RL friends, and you all, promise hope and redemption and a new life on the other side of this ordeal. I need some help believing that.
Thanks for any support you can offer--
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Nothing the OW can do or be in other people's eyes dimishes you in any way. You know that. I know that every reminder hurts so much, and it picks the scab off yet again. Detachment is the only thing that will make this easier for you. Are you working specifically on the goal of detachment in IC?
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
