Talking this out helps, and I will offer my perspective as much as you need. It helped me alot on these boards earlier - getting a perspective from people similar to my H....so I know what you mean.
Try, try, try to take all the focus off her. Focus on the Right Here, and NOW. That's all you've got, that's all anyone has. All the mental mumbling/what-ifs going on in your brain will take you off course.
No matter what - you'll come out of this a stronger person - and we're here to help you thru it.
