how do i keep my hope alive?

[trytryagain]

OTM, i think i get what you are saying. my H seems to struggle with the person he's become and says that he doesn't like who he is now and that he wants to change. i do say good riddance to the old H, but how long do you give someone to find their way before you call it quits? i know he loves me...and i love him. but to hear him say he's not worth it - even if it's just him baiting me, it kills me to hear that. he knows how i feel. he knows i'm around, but he also knows i'm not going to wait forever.

i do understand that he needs to work on himself before he could devote anything to our M, otherwise any counseling efforts would be disingenuious. i know that the last 30 years of his life have formed him into who he is now...a person he does not want to be. but will it take 30 years for him to turn that around?? our family backgrounds are very different, and our experiences growing up are very different. is that an excuse for his repetitive fleeing behavior? i don't know...i don't think so. i can see how it would influence your behavior in a relationship, if it's been your norm growing up, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see what works and what doesn't work in a relationship.