I have been having a hard time the last couple of days! Was blaming it on the weather but the sun was out yesterday and was still sad! Just when you think you have a handle on your emotions, the dam breaks and they come flooding out so I was just really holding them back and not dealing with them! I hated to see that R2's H is going through with a D too!
Yes, I do still need to work on detaching. Not sure how much more distance I can do at this point...we are pretty distanced! lol!
This is what I am thinking with presenting H with the financial numbers. I have always paid the bills. He always thought we had a money tree in the back yard. He has no clue as to our financial situation. I know that he needs to hit the bottom or "be left to twist in the wind" (what a visual!). I will present it to him...that is all, I will not tell him why I am showing it to him! What he does after that will be HIS decision. I will do what I need to do to protect us and take care of us financially for the kids and I without feeling any guilt or regret! Yes, I admit, I do hope that it will slow down the process but also realize that it most likely will not since he is in his own little world now.
It is kinda creepy actually to think about him being right where he was when I met him...living in a dump with most of his "prized" possessions surrounding him, bills mounting and working all the time...he has OW spoon feeding him but other than that..doesn't sound like much of a existence!
I did call him this morning to see what the vet said about the dog. He told me that he did leave a vm on my phone (it never alerted me I guess I didn't check, just assumed he didn't call...shame on me!) and yes, there is a vm there. Anway, he takes dog back next week to have lump removed...high white count, possible cancer. In the past, I would have asked "how much is this going to cost" but didn't. As you can tell, I am the one that is always worried about money. Since H has left, we have lost a hamster and a guinea pig and now this.
He had heard one of our "colorful" locals had passed away and asked me about that, talked about the stupid weather we are having and plans to take the kids tomorrow. I wanted to ask him if he was going to grandson's birthday party on Sunday but didn't. He's a big boy...it is not my job to remind him!
So, threw my little "why me, I didn't ask for this" tantrum this morning after I got on fo the phone with H and threw some laundry in and will get busy cleaning and will finish up the primer in my room! Going to make corned beef/cabbage today since I didn't on Wed....
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
