Saffie, thanks for the warning. I did think of that afterwards. Honestly, a ban at this point would be a good GAL for me. I really try to do nothing more than read a few select threads on this site. This site was very helpful years ago during my marital problems. I think the DB strategies work great if there is not an OP (such as my marriage). I got so interested in the infidelity section b/c at one point in the marriage things were so bad (for years)- I didn't want to hurt my kids with a D but thought I would have to go outside of the marraige to get my needs met. (My dirty little secret). And no, they were just thoughts, I never cheated and now with the knowledge I've learned I see what that would be such a stupid, crazy option...
OK, I am committing to GAL and not posting on this site- it sucks you in....
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
I don't disagree with a lot of the principles you discuss regarding exposure and dealing with an A at all. I do however take huge issue with your style and attitude. Do you think there is a chance you can temper your posts a bit Allen?
And not a word to Lotus about any of her mudslinging at all... just a one-sided attack on me and not a mention of her... un-freakin-believable.
You need to learn DIPLOMACY saffie. This means addressing BOTH people in a conflict.
I already SAID I can temper my posts, I already OFFERED to - Lotus did not, but here we are with a one-sided post yet again.
Sigh
There's a front and back to each book, if all you read is the cover you learn nothing much at all.
I took mudslinging from Lotus multiple times here, and you glossed over it without a mention and go after me and call me jeuvenile... and now you want me to temper my posts without so much as a mention to anything Lotus has posted? Did you bother to read how "jeuvenile" Lotus' has been on this thread at all? Did you bother to read how many times I pulled punches while she blasted away like an angry child? And yet you say nothing about this.
Un-freakin-believable.
Do you seriously expect me to belive this is a reasonable post?
I cannot accept this post and retain my dignity, my apologies in advance for that.
I can certainly understand if this was a phone call and you had no idea what was said... Lotus plays the victim well and if this were in the dark I would certainly come out to appear the likley bad guy... But the text is right here in the thread for you to read and you chose to ignore it.
Saffie, when you post something that shows me you have read the entire exchange I will entertain the content of this post of yours above to the extent it truly deserves becuase there is some worthwhile commentary here, but sorely lacking in a fair treatment of the exchange. You can't possibly expect anyone to retain their diginity and accept this as a reasonable response. To me right now you just look biased beyond even my belief.
You do seem to be the one who started pushing people's buttons and don't seem to like it when others disagree with you. You've got your opinions, they have theirs. Let it go. IMO.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You do seem to be the one who started pushing people's buttons and don't seem to like it when others disagree with you. You've got your opinions, they have theirs. Let it go. IMO.
How is that mudslinging? MrBond's comment was not a malicious attack. He was merely making a point.
And for the record. I am not upset, merely in shock.
I am in shock as to how a third-party can make a post in what looks like an atttempt to diffuse conflict between people, but only address one of the two posters in the exchange.
I don't even work in negotiation and I know that doing this doesn't diffuse anything it just antagonizes people.
If you want to diffuse conflict, offer a fair address to BOTH parties in a conflict... otherwise you are just aggravating the conflict to an even greater level.
AA, You ... don't seem to like it when others disagree with you. You've got your opinions, they have theirs. Let it go. IMO.
And again for the record here what I don't like is people who can't handle their line of thought being challenged and resort to mud-slinging in a sad and destructive attempt to save face.
If someone catches you on something... OWN IT, dont start name-calling and belittling people with character attacks.
THAT is what I dont like.
Mud-slinging and character attacks is not dis-agreeing with someone... Its an abaondonment of maturity because your pride can't handle the fact that your line of reasoning had a small problem with it.
THAT is what I dont like.
And I will repeat, in the exchange between Lotus and I, I offered blatantly to temper my posts, she hasn't yet at all... After my offer she simply made even WORSE attacks than previous... but for some reason posters this morning dont' seem to be able to make a half-way fair assessment of conflict.
Could I have handled things better? Sure, but so could Lotus. But for some reason we gloss over that... my guess is the exchange wans't read carefully.
