She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[tbart01]

It's difficult to not want to react because I'm still 8000 miles away with my hands tied behind my back. I wouldn't say any of this to her now. Actually, I'm not really sure this changes anything because it's nothing I didn't already know. With this not being a total surprise, it doesn't change my course or path.

I just don't understand how someone you could love and care about so much turn on you. It's difficult to fathom that she would want me to deploy to a combat zone so she could plan our divorce.

She had mentioned to this friend the possibility of getting a restraining order against me when returned, and to have someone with her when she picked me up at the airport. I have never in all our marriage given her a reason to fear me or think that I would hurt her.

I just want to go home, see my girls and move on. I in no way would want to remain married to her the way she is currently acting. I'm going to go home and get on with myself. If she doesn't change and decide to work on this, that's on her. All I can do is worry about me and my girls.

I'm not saying I've been the perfect H, but I certainly haven't done anything to deserve this. She had mentioned to the friend that she wanted this to be for a year, but when I asked her a few months back if she wanted me to extend it for a year she said no.

She cried to friends and family once she found out where I was going. She wanted me to deploy, just not to a combat zone. She even went through rough emotional times about me being here since I've been here.

This woman is all over the map emotionally. Unfortunately, it's got me all over the map in a place i need my total focus. I don't want to over analyze everything she says or does, but it's difficult to not do that right now.

I know her plan hasn't materialized like she imagined. I'm sure from her actions and words to others and myself that she's confused as well. I won't really know how far she's gone until I get home. This is going to be 3 1/2 very long weeks.

I'll need your guys help more than ever in the coming days. Just please keep watch on me, and help me not to do something stupid.