More good news, folks. Today Gno talked to me about LL - one of H's is "quality time". He's been pushing me away for so long, I forgot this was something he originally felt was missing post bomb.
So we made a plan that I would show more interest in H's life, hobbies, etc. If you read my first thread, I spent many months either at the other end of the house, or at a friend's when H was here. But I"m piecing now. STill getting used to that. Time to take risks.
So when I came home from rehearsal (10:30), I showed interest in his show. He watches these silly realistic cop shows and prebomb I would have said "I don't like violence" and walked away. INstead, I grabbed a beer, sat down, and just enjoyed the campiness of it with him. It was fun, we were laughing on the couch together.
So then he turns on the computer, pulls out GoogleEarth and demonstrates the flight adventure he had on Tuesday (our bombiversary btw). Gno said get interested in planes, and let him brag about his plane. Prebomb I would have said, "planes are dangerous" and not paid much attention. During early postbomb, I would have just been emotional and tried to talk about how painful bombiversaries are!
BUt now - I listened to his whole adventure, seeing the positive in it. I shared his enthusiasm. He really opened up as I continued to ask more questions about the experience. I decided that to love him, I need to be genuinely interested in what he's interested in. For him to feel loved, he needs to share what he enjoys. Finally, finally, finally, we're at the place I can start showing interest and getting closer to him again.
