Was lying in the bath earlier thinking about D Day which is coming very near and I am just not ready for it yet. I feel sick just thinking about it. Not because I want my H back (I think so) but because I just dont want to be D. I see it as a failure, that I have failed at my M. I havent even told alot of people that we are seperated (since last july) and am not sure how I will say that we are now D. I hate the stigma of being a divorced, single mom. I know that it is okay and I dont judge people for it - I have a lot of single divorced mom friends and they are great - I just dont want to be one.
Sorry if this offends anyone - it isnt meant to. I guess I just still havent come to terms with the fact that my M is over.
(((Lea))) I hear ya. We chose to get married and become part of the "married women" category. We haven't chosen to be in the "single divorced mom" category, and realistically that will influence how people see us.
Please read this book that Gardener and hoosiermama recommended to me:
It's not a book you read all at once. Just read it in little bits and give yourself time to digest.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
