Over the past month or so I've had some insights into the sitch with my X and whatever has been going on with her the past three years.

Several weeks ago in what little bit of negotiations we had over me buying the house back from her she verbalized a fear that she would "get screwed". She went on to mention several people in her life that have "screwed" her financially, sadly some were related to her, all are male. I asked her, "Have I ever screwed you?" to which she said, "no". The truth is that everyone who has commented on our D believes I was the one who was "screwed".

This explains her hard-nosed and aggressive additude as she felt that was the only way to protect herself. My Counselor alluded to this years ago as he said he believed I was catching the grief for every man in her life who had ever done her wrong, including nameless and faceless men who had not held the door for her at the grocery store.

In qualifying for the loan a rediculous financial burden was discovered in the official record that neither I, X or my lawyer knew had made it into the judgement. This had to be amended and signed by a judge before closing on the house. I informed X of the sitch and offered to have my lawyer draw up the necessary papers and take the necessary action. She agreed.

Today my L instructed me to learn X's new legal name since remarriage for the papers. I asked X and learned she has not changed her name but still has mine. When I took the papers by X's workplace to be signed (gopher is on of my many talents) I showed X where to sign (twice) and then proceeded to tell her what she had just signed. She said, "You don't have to explain, I trust you." You could have knocked me down with a feather.

I had to go by one additional time later in the afternoon (we've had lots of contact this week and postponed closing for one week due to complications). I called her by my last name (Ms. Sleeper). She smiled.

Many who knew us may have said I was foolish in the D settlement, others may have said I fell on my sword for her. My daughter, wise beyond her years, shocked me once by verbalizing her observation that mommy got the better vehicle, the house and the business. I now know in my heart I did the right thing. In that I find contentment with the choices I have made.

Last edited by sleeper; 03/19/10 06:00 AM.
"The answers are within you" (can't remember who). Unfortunately, so is the bullshit.