Is it possible your old husband is partly gone for good - if what he told you is correct, he's dealing with some real bad stuff that screwed him up when he was a kid.
In Retrou, they reminded us that much of how we act today in a relationship is based on how we were raised up. MWD says that, too.
Maybe "good riddance" to the old H. Give the man some, but not endless, time to become a new and better H for you. The one thing he has been sure of it seems is that he loves you. If he loves you as much as it seems, he will return unless he feels you do not love him.
Does he have to do that alone? Why not ask him if it doesn't make sense. Not begging, just ask him why he feels now (not a month ago) that the independence is needed. I found sharing how I felt with my W helped me solve problems, not just get things off my chest. Hearing her helped even more.
