Not really piecing and trying not to jinx it, but

[Freckle6]

CW, I did DB the first 18 months or so we were separated. He was back and forth (the back part was usually so quick my head spun) but once he seemed to go for good, it took all my focus to be civil and pretend he didn't exist.

It was a pretty profound feeling when I finally realized that I could still love him (or love who he had been) and didn't have to "get over" him, but that didn't mean I was sitting around with my life on pause waiting for him to come back anymore. Just like you can't make yourself love someone, you can't make yourself not care about them either. You don't have to get over someone before you're allowed live your life for you again and I guess that's the phase I had moved on to. I didn't come to the boards anymore and didn't really even think about our sitch anymore.

Once thing that was kind of creepy was last summer, Memorial Day to be exact, for some strange reason I was very sad. Sad like I hadn't been in years. I dug out a stack of greeting cards he had given me over the years with his written promises of love and took them outside and burned them in my fireplace.

Two days later, after more than 3 years of nothing other than an occasional "hello" (I made a point to try not to speak to him at all when we exchanged our son) he called me under the guise of asking about some old paperwork on a pull behind trailer he had. At the end of the brief conversation, he told me he had taken our son to the zoo the week before and he was wondering if someone I would like to go with them and that he thought our son would really have a great time with both of us there. That was the last thing I expected. As far as I knew, at that point he had had a girlfriend for the past couple of years (whore! :D).

The rest of that story (brief tunnel exiting) I think is in my beginning posts in this thread, but the creepy part is that maybe my sadness that day and subsequent burning of things that had meant a lot to me was more letting go and he (or someone or something) felt it too somehow and made a move back towards me. The timing of all that was amazing though. Seriously though, if I had known that's what it would take, I'd have burned his crap years before!

Hang in there CW. Let yourself feel what you feel. That's what's great about these boards--no one here tells you to get over him/her already and wonders how you could possibly still love them. I'm sure most, if given the choice, would love to "get over it" in a heartbeat, but it doesn't work that way!