Starting Over (Again)

[g450]

Cautious, I also backslid myself yesterday so you are not in an exclusive backsliding club. Hell I think we have membership jackets for that here.

Like you I WAS Grey. She called me to help her with my Sons riding mower. Had a flat tire and needed to buy and install a tube etc.

Like a love sick idiot I went over there to take care of it. She seemed grateful but still distant. Almost a month ago she said she wanted to be "friends" with me. I took that hook line and sinker. Well yesterday she got upset because I sat too close to her on her couch and she got up as if I had just tried to grope her or something.

I asked her why she was so cold to me if she in fact wanted to be "my friend". She then told me that we could NEVER be friends. Well WTF? That's not what she said a month ago.

I started to get my sh** and leave. She made a comment that I was upset and could not handle things etc. Well no sh**! I told her she needed to make up her mind. I also told her that I was not putting my life on hold for her and that I was stronger than she gave me credit for.

Why the hell should I stay there and keep her company? Asked her what was the point of it? She doesnt want me as a husband (obviousely) and she doesnt want me as a friend. Although she does things for me (scooby snacks) she basically treats me like her personal Maytag Repairman. And with the same love and warmth that you would give a mail man or taxi driver.

So with that said I am no longer grey. I am now going dark. Will NOT answer her calls unless its an emergency and she will have to text me. Better yet, she can call her Son since he is her landord.

Honestly, Im just tired of her sh**! I deserve better. Now dday will come in here and plant a 2x4 upside my head for sure and I will deserve every splinter I get.

What the hell is wrong with these people. What freaking planet do they live on? If I didnt still love the woman I would have blocked her calls months ago. That would have been the smart thing to do. So why can't we let go of our love for them?

Sorry for hijacking your thread to vent but you of all people here know exactly what I am feeling right now.