My W shows me something she wants to purchase. I leave and come back and she is ready to go and do something but is just sitting there. So I asked if she had plans for today she replied no. So then I ask if she wanted to take a ride to the place where the item is. I assumed that is why she was dressed to go. Her response was "if you want" with a shoulder shrug. I then said nothing in return. If I say "sure let's go" then I feel like it was pursuit but if I say "no" then I know she would get annoyed as she did.
It's mild pursuit.
A more conservative route could be letting her know you are available if she wants to go and going to make yourself a tea or something.. stay nearby, don't get heavily involved a video game or something... but just sit back and wait for her to show the initiative.
Your pursuit was quite mild, and ultimately its up to HER what pursuit is, but I don't think you did any damage with your chosen route.
I can think of a milder offer, but I can also think of more aggresive pursuit too... its a VERY tough rope to walk.
Does she have any marriage-friendly friends that you are confident with?
What I am thinking is if you can have one of her friends help guide her through this time it may help...its very hard to go through a wayward phase alone.. this is why oftentimes affairs show up during that phase...
I am not concerned about an affair here, I am thinking she DOES need support, but from you directly it may be overmuch right now.
In regards to physical affection which you asked about earlier I have an idea.
Why not get her the info for a good salon/spa. I realize this is unconventional, but you could suggest she take a spa day to help her relax.
This is HER getting some affection and a good massage, it offers you nothing I know. But it may help HER see that you are thinking of HER comfort exclusively.
She indicates she likes affection, but likley doens't want it from you... a SAFE route is send her to a spa of some sort - obviously one where it would be FEAMLES doing the work, not men... yikes.
Just a thought, its really out there I know...
Tell her a therapist suggested it or something, so she doensn't think you are up to somthing and get defensive or distrustful.
And that SHOULD help her relax a lot.
The best is if you can find a marriage-friendly friend to go along with her - again a female. Offer to pay for them both to go.
