bradley
this is going to sound wicked harsh
but (sorry Cat)
you are one selfish guy

listen...heart surgery is no more a passion to you than many things are to many of us (I could list teaching here or writing...did you know that I am published? Not many people do because it doesn't pay a lot...my kids needed food. I got a job that provided that for them...I write when i can)

you are Bradley who does heart surgery
probably does it very well
but
you are not heart surgery

stop doing sh!t half-assed

you want to save your marriage then get to it instead of always looking back over your shoulder and thinking "but I really lvoe heart surgery"

you love that more than your family, which you may and there isn't a judgment there...if you do, you do then stop doing that half-assed and get off this freakingboard and go do it

this pantywaisted whiny about what you want to do is killing me

be a heart surgeon
or be a husband and father
because it looks like you have resigned yourself to having to chose

yup
you might not get to do heart surgery now
you don't know what will open up there

you don't know

you need to do what is in your heart and you need to stop expecting people to figure it out for you or to tell you whatever you do is ok
and
the next time
you make some sort of freaking condescending
"you don't understand what being a heart surgeon means: bs you better think about the fact that EVERYONE you encounter has a dream...an important dream...a dream they spent their life trying to fulfill...just because you can crack a guys chest open and massage his heart doesn't mean that dream is more important than the guy who dreamed of painting a masterpiece and spent years perfecting his craft, or the high school kid who is here illegally and is working a 50hr a week night job to make sure his little sister has a home and food because his mom died of cancer and it killed his dad so that kid had to defer his hard work of getting through high school and work at Target and save $20 from each paycheck so he can go to school piece-meal like because all he wants to be is an accountant.

if I lived in a place where someone's pretentious "I spent 13 years honing my craft" ever came out of their mouth and "I'm not sure unless you are ONE that you would understand"
...

how dare you presume that your dream is more important that any other dream
that your hard work and sacrifice is any more hard one than someone elses

humbleness man
humbleness is something you need

because I swear, if I were your partner and i heard that come out of your mouth...

what is your wife's dream?
what did she defer for 13 years