5 more days till the Big D

[ClingingToHope]

My W always was a little off. Depression issues. Her family is a mess and I thought I could rescue her. For a long time it was good, but the down periods got deeper and longer.

Even in the last three years there would be nights where the old W would break through her wall and she'd say "I do love you. I don't know why I act this way."

The only way she'd turn back to me now is if she hits rock bottom and finally figures out there is no magic formula out there -- either you are happy or not. It's up to her.

I don't see it happening. I see cold-eyed determination to prove that I was the source of her unhappiness. It'll be interesting to see -- from afar -- what happens.

Sound familiar?

I just hope I get enough time with my girls so that they don't fall into W's family mess. Four women completely unhappy and blaming the world for their misery.

[brknheart]

Sound familiar?

The blame game sounds very familiar.

I just hope I get enough time with my girls so that they don't fall into W's family mess. Four women completely unhappy and blaming the world for their misery.

I hope the best for the kids. I have a friend who was D 2 years ago and he is still trying to get sole custody of his 2 D. The mother treats them like dirt and uses them as pawns to get back at my friend.

[~Sol]

Hey brkn - it almost sounds like you are talking about my coo-coo X! Could it be they are one in the same? Boy, that would be weird eh?

I understand those feelings you have about your W, she hurt you. Just like mine hurt me. I don't think those negative feelings will ever go away, but they do diminish. The important thing is learning how to process them. For me, instead of wishing my X failure and misery (which is what I really feel), I just focus on being ultra successful in life without my X - as a way to "get back at her", show her what she's missing, etc etc. In actually, it's kinda like therapy, and it gives me a goal to work on, but on more levels than just making success the best revenge. But it works - for me - I am really trying to make a successful future out of the many failures in my life - and it's forcing me to change, making me face my demons, lots of growing pains, doing things I don't normally like doing (like being submissive to my boss even though he might be wrong), or working on creating my business instead of watching Discovery Channel.

You are on the right path in making your own friends. It really helps a lot.

[whatisis]

Discovery channel! You are a naughty one, Sol. Personally, I like Lockdown on the National Geographic station, it reminds me of my marriage.

[poet]

Hi Brk,

It seems I'm the only girlie girl on your thread. Oh well, that's OK by me, as long as the boys play fair, I'll keep on talking. Just so you know, we don't have any kids so, I'm rolling down the same river as you are.

Once in a while, I'll call my tbx and talk for about 30 seconds or a minute before he gets aggravated and hangs up. He can't handle having contact with me, probably because it makes him face his deamons, which scares him, I think.

Anyway, I do try, in a relavant way not to wish any harm on him. Actually, I wish the harm on the other women; yes there are several!!! I guess I'm predisposed to displacing my hurts and angers on them instead. Whether this is healthy or not, I know not. I do try to forgive him over and over -- it is a process you know...

As for whatis... how the heck are you?

And wholeagain... please take it easy on me; I'm still smarting(fragile) from last year.

peace,
poet

[brknheart]

Actually, I wish the harm on the other women; yes there are several!!! I guess I'm predisposed to displacing my hurts and angers on them instead. Whether this is healthy or not, I know not. I do try to forgive him over and over -- it is a process you know...

No need for me to wish the other guys harm, they will get it after being with her loco-self for awhile.

She sent me a txt yesterday asking me where something was in the house and if I took it. I didnt respond. 10 min later she txt that she found it. WTF!? Even if I took that item, she wouldn't have been able to do anything about it since everything is signed... Im going to have to ether block her number or change mine.