yes-- or even felt she was "better" than me... just a higher emotional IQ... so good with people... makes friends so easily.
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so when she said she was unsatisfied, what was your response, to listen?
she never said this. she just dropped the bomb... now I tell her I totally understand how she could have felt that way...
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when she tells you she doesn't believe the changes do you show her the changes are real or do you talk about the possibility of doing heart surgery and yada yada yada here instead of moving?
I was showing her the changes are real. She was starting to believe. the new opportunity came up, though, last week, which brought up the issue of continuing to be a heart surgeon. I should mention that there is a possible job opportunity in mass... which she said she would very much entertain... this makes not a lot of sense since she doesn't want to come back here and doesn't want me to live with her there... yet would move to an entirely new state with me? crazy.
now my changes are to listen better. to be more empathetic. to be more engaged... I would love on her if I had the chance but it is not there. these types of things are separate from my personal desire to continue to do that which I spent my life becoming... I feel that way anyhow.
I do love heart surgery. I AM a heart surgeon... I'm not sure unless you are then you understand that. I don't want to say you all aren't right that the marriage and the kids should be the number one priority. and they are.... in my circumstance it appears my wife does not want to leave the town she is living in becuase... uh... well she appears to have moved there to be with OM. so now I give up hearts to move there, do general surgery... BUT.... this is my life. and I do love what I do... I'm not gonna love what I'm gonna do. this is important. go ahead! whack me with another 2x4!... i'm having a hard time giving it up. I spent 13 years to become this.
I'm not sure there really is an opportunity to stay here anyhow. I've already signed a contract there. I've moped around here for the last 2 months and sortof checked out... so really there is not much of an option to stay. and I told them I was leaving.
but today I was on call, getting consults... and well I felt like myself again. I felt good. for what it is worth.
what am I not shutting up about fig?
yes my wife is the most important thing to me... but to ME... and ME has been lost in the last 7 months.. that's what I'm trying to figure out.
