Sometimes the cheater doesn't want to hurt the spouse.
Your speaking from one side.
I agree with you.. on the first point, but in both cases the INTENTIONS are in the MIND of the actors... one can make some assessmetns of behviour to suggest some conscience be here, but in the case of Lotus' full argument she is assuming the BEST CASE for the cheaters and the WORST case for the WS exposing the affair.
