I just got off the phone with a friend of mine who is working at another big firm..he has been telling me about job opportunities in his department. It left me with some unsettling feelings...
1) I would typically call my H and ask for his opinion..it feels so weird not considering him in my future plans 2) I used to be so confident...I have to say that my personal situation has really shaken up my confidence. I always had the 'I can do anything' mentality. I am not feeling that right now and I need to figure out how to get that back. 3) I used to be so career oriented..and passionate about work. I haven't felt that way in quite some time. So many distractions. Also, about two years ago I took a position that hasn't really challenged me so I have lost interest. I need to figure out how to focus.
I am upset that I let this situation shake my confidence..I hate that I let my H's put downs impact me. Even though I would try to ignore them...it has worn me down a bit. ...and I know..detach.
Pearl- I also read the post you mentioned on detachment..I have had a detachment filled day and please keep the advice coming..no need to sugar coat anything with me..I appreciate honesty so no need to apologize. It is so easy to let the situation control you and make you feel (and act) crazy at times. I take all the advice to heart..I know it is coming from a good place and it is coming from experience. This is why I am here.
Grit- Our intentions are always good..we know what we should be doing..but when our emotions get involved..everything we know goes out the window. It is hard to just feel the emotion and not react to it.
Regarding the Italian..I got Rosetta Stone. It was fantastic but I just didn't have enough time to learn before my trip to Italy this past fall. When I returned...I found out that my H continued his A and I lost my mojo. I am upset with myself for not sticking to it and hopefully will go back to it. My mother is from Italy..learning Italian was always something I wanted to do. I even did a study abroad at the University of Sienna when in college...but that turned into a big party with friends. I haven't given up ; ) It is just shelved for the moment.
