"All rise"

[faithisbelieving]

I want to thank all of you for standing by me during this difficult 1-2 weeks.

I am at a loss as to what to say. I know I will be OK now and I am looking forward to the day when I can sit down with my kids without STBXW looking over me. However, now, I must find a way to adapt to a life without my kids during the week.

I will now mourn that, but, as you all know, I will move on, somehow. I always told STBXW before all this happened that I would never let my family down. Well, I won't minus a wife. Well, NY will require me to pay her.

I actually like STBXW's attorney, in spite of all the motions, etc. I know it is a business. I walked up to him after and shook his hand, asked him if I could talk man to man. I asked him if he would, in a private way, have a talk with STBXW and try and get her to 'back down' (not said in those words). Then, smiling, I said to him, "oh, and btw, I am not x,y and z", phrasing some of the nasty stuff that STBXW quoted. He smiled. I think he knew.

X's attorney then went on to say how he thought that the previous female judge hurt us by ordering that no one sleep with the kids. He said, by doing that, not knowing that a precedent had be set before things went sour, she created this horrible 'air'. He shook my hand again and hoped that "I made a million dollars someday because your children will benefit greatly with you."

And finally, he agreed...which got me choked up..that they hadn't seen a father in court who was so committed to their children. I guess that's the lollipop I get to take home to assuage the pain of losing them half the time.

The system in the state of NY sucks. It is archaic. It is broken. It is the only state left that requires a couple to find fault to get divorced. That, honestly and without saying with bigotry, is secondary to the lobbying power of the diocese of NY. It needs to be changed.

All the motions...all the police calls...all the finger pointing...all the court visits.....MEANT NOTHING. As everyone says, it simply comes down to dollars and a custody agreement. My children are victims of my state's laws.

STBXW: "You know, even though you gave me the grandfather clock for giving birth to Paige, I didn't ask for it knowing that you would probably take it anyway."

Funny...I did ask for it, but, because I thought she would never take it since, on the front, is a small engraving saying, "The FIB Family, 2003." I will give it to my son in my will when that day comes.

So, after 4 years, I guess, I still can't understand the unhappiness that occurs in a person that is SO bad, that they will destroy their marriage, uproot and hurt their children, throw away their home. I simply accept that it happens now. Although I have felt the pain and sadness of divorce, I don't think anyone..ANYONE...has made me THAT unhappy (well, STBXW now I guess, lol).

"I love you but I want the romance back", translated: you are a great guy, a good man and a good father, but, the excitement is gone and I want to get that back. I want to trade up.

Period.

It rarely comes back. It's definitely worth the try of working it, but, after awhile............

FIB