How do I act?

[Awoken]

Yes, don't confront until you have solid proof. Confronting now is just another form of pursuing, showing him your anger.

I had evidence of my W's EA, and even then I confronted too soon.

Yes, it is awful dealing with the suspicions you must have. rr22 is giving you great advice.

I wish it had been clearer to me at the start of my sitch: spend your time on yourself, not on saving your M. That is a key DB element.

hang in there.