I think fatigue is making your ODP harder. I think your challenge over the next few days will be to figure out how to make the next 12 weeks without an explosion, without as much access to Madam, KNOWING you will be overtired. A fifty hour a week is hard on a 21-year-old! I think H IS going to eventually come through on a job. It IS frustrating bearing the financial brunt of a situation you did not create. I like your attitude about building your sense of security about financial stability on your own for your future. Try to frame this situation as very temporary and something you're doing for YOU so that you can always take care of yourself in the future, even as an old widow. LOL.
I think you are going to find the strength from somewhere these next few weeks if you can find enough sleep and alone time. You might need to "go for a walk" when H gets back if you are already angry before he even gets there. Instead of ODP, it's Operation Avoid until something simmers down.
I think H will pick up his slack on his own without confronting him about it at this time. I think if you do, it might be a setback because he is probably already self conscious about being supported by you at this time. Just a thought.
