I need some advice. I am in a situation where I go stay with my W and our toddler on the weekends but am out of town during the week due to work. At my W’s request, starting about 7 mos. ago we decided to put the relationship on hold for the timebeing. I have been very good about not pushing or whining, not calling a lot. We talk usually several times a day and get along well—it’s almost always her calling me—and we are good friends. She is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober for over a year now. She was very abusive when drinking.
Here’s the situation. She just informed me she has been asked out and really wants to go. She had barely concealed giddiness about it. Said she didn’t want to hide things from me, that she wanted to go ahead and divorce. I was obviously shocked but acted calmly and indicated it was okay. She states she loves me and has great respect for me and appreciates all I do to provide for the family, but needs to find herself outside of a relationship due to years of being in one and being an alcoholic for most of the time. But it appears she is ready to jump into another one.
She’s almost 30 and I think the guy is about 22. He babysits our 3 y/o. No I don’t think they’ve been having a secret affair. I had noticed that suddenly the pictures of me in the house had disappeared, and suspected they had a thing for each other. He should be leaving to go back to school in the fall, to another town.
Our situation is such that we spend every weekend together, both out of necessity for the finances, and also for our child and because, i would say, she enjoys having me around.
I very much get the impression that she wants me around, in case something doesn’t work out in the alternative she very much wants me to be waiting around for her so we can get back together if that’s what she decides to do. I’m not terribly interested in being an alternative and just hanging around, waiting to see if she will come around. Especially if she’s dating other people.
Question: what do I do? What is the best thing for me to do right now for our marriage? To give us the best chance of getting back together. I am just really confused and bewildered. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
