New here but have been a voyeur

[Truegritter]

Lola

I never feel like the need to be in control of everything until I feel like I am completely out of control..and I hit the panic button.

Lola this is me too. It's good you're reading the detach stuff and it looks like you get the logic. Now the hard part. You have to live it. Don't be so available. Don't be disrespectful either but you don't have to get right back to him. You don't have to keep checking all the ways he communicates with you to see what's up. Just take baby steps. Set little goals like I am not going to think about H for one whole day. When you feel yourself doing it catch yourself and say DETACH. If he calls you or contacts you wait the day and say to yourself DETACH.

Now I am saying do as I say not as I do. This is very hard. Don't kill yourself with it, but pretend like its medicine and if you don't take it you're going to get sicker. Which is true.

Do your GALing. BTW did I remember you are learning Italian? If so how are you doing it? I have tried several times but now may be a good time for me to do it for real.

Ciao

Grit