I find it ironic that a cheater would find exposure to be humiliating. [/quote]
This particular tactic works with a lot of destructive behaviour
Bullies tend to back off when even BIGGER bullies push them around and humiliate them in public
People that play practical jokes also can tone it down after the tables are turned.
The charm of exposure is it turns the tables :
1. During the initial stage of an affair when it is secret, the lovers are in a very tight group - just the two of them - they talk and share info that the rest of the world isn't privy to... often each other's spouses
2. Later once the affair is exposed (either by the AS or through office gossip) suddenly its the lovers are on the out of the loop, everyone ELSE is talking about THEM instead.. Everyone ELSE is privy to secrets that the two lovers aren't included into.
There is a middle phase where No one knows who knows what and everyone is wondering who knows exactly what and such.. but eventually it progresses to the lovers feeling gossiped about and embarassed.. eventually angry...
But the good news is, it puts a dent in the fantasy of the affair. The more reality brought to bear on an affair the quicker it gets put to its demise.
I guess there is an irony in the swap of who is "in the know"... and who is "in the outs" of the secret being passed around
To the lovers at first its "we are in love - what an exciting secret"
But it eventually turns into "we were cheating - everyone knows, what a frustrating embarassment..."
