Mandatory Don'ts when Divorce Busting

[Piano]

Pup and Allen,

I believe WH to be in withdrawal stage. It's 2 and a half months since the PA ended, but he told me he'd been infatuated with her for months before it got physical - I worked it out to have started (for him) from about May 09...that's 10 months. Yikes....

He waited till I left Europe where we were living to act on his impulses. Now we are both back on other side of the world.

I agree Allen, that it doesn't mean they are communicating. But I think after dropping the bomb day 3 of arrival in the country and separating immediately was so he could indeed hide away and indulge in the fantasy further, even if it is "only in the imagination" and yes i think this is why he has he has been so resistant to me - not wanting counseling, cutting and running... this, after 15 yrs of marriage and a baby on the way!

I don't think I made it clear though....

He and I have NO life together that the moment.

My WH, who lives with friends now and who I see/hear from rarely, has told me & everyone we are separated, has mentioned D, and has moved on with his life. He just wishes I would.

Can't go DARK cos baby # 1 due in 2 months. So going DIM.

Funny your comment about smoking Allen.. my WH was always a closet smoker and used to lie to me about quitting, then I'd find the packets... !

I see only 2 things left that I can do:

GAL and do 180s and hope he notices from a distance --- but more importantly, do it for me

&

Ask common friends of OW if they know if it's still going on.
(I have no access to his computer or phones to get intel - he doesn't live with me).

I could ask the friend he is currenlty staying with if he knows of contact with OW or if it has started up again....but he too might think it is none of my business since WH has said we're OVER. Doesn't that means WH is FREE to do what he LIKES?